Off to school she went with apprehension in her heart but confidence in her walk!
This was her new territory, all around new faces, new location with absolutely no help in sight! A worried mom, I waved goodbye with mixed emotions and walked away sending a prayer to guide her well! The next few hours seemed long and never ending, the Mom in me wanted to rush and protect her, but the woman in me gently rooted me till the expected hour. I told the mom in me to give her a chance, to help her find her confidence and make the new scene work for her!Finally at the turn of the hour, I grabbed my keys and rushed out to school, fully expecting to pull her in my arms and tell her I am there for her!
After much anticipation, I saw her walking, not with a fallen face, but grabbing the hands of 2 other girls and jumping with excitement over the fabulous new friends and the desperate call for play dates! No hugs, no tears, but pure joy bouncing off three cheery girls who had made a pact to be friends!
All my fears abated and the next few hours were filled with chatter about the new school, new premises and the endless list of darling friends she had made ending with a comment that satisfied my heart! ‘I love my new school and I feel at home!’, she said!
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Guiding Light
Guiding light!
Today I read a comment from a mother who has lost her child on facebook. It touched me deeply! The loss of a life is the most tragic sequence in a person’s life.
Lately, I have been engrossed in rallying behind boxes to get my home in order. It seems like a herculean task to move residences and locate new areas for things to go. While in the process, I find things, objects which held little importance in the past, but now hold great memories. Memories of a bag, a picture, a letter, a note, the list is endless and with each is a unique thought and a warmth that fills my heart cause it is deeply associated with a person who’s physical presence is missed today. As I cast these objects in various spots around the house, I feel the presence of the person associated with it and a sense of being with them makes my heart glow.
Today, as I sit and write this alone from my living room, I might miss the physical presence of dear ones, but these objects or memories stand like pillars of support and talk to me like they are present in front of me.
I always believe that the soul lives just to aid us make the right decisions in life and illuminate the road like a guiding light from up above!
To all who were dear to me and have departed to a better place, your memories will serve as an essence of how you celebrated life and made people around you happy!
Today I read a comment from a mother who has lost her child on facebook. It touched me deeply! The loss of a life is the most tragic sequence in a person’s life.
Lately, I have been engrossed in rallying behind boxes to get my home in order. It seems like a herculean task to move residences and locate new areas for things to go. While in the process, I find things, objects which held little importance in the past, but now hold great memories. Memories of a bag, a picture, a letter, a note, the list is endless and with each is a unique thought and a warmth that fills my heart cause it is deeply associated with a person who’s physical presence is missed today. As I cast these objects in various spots around the house, I feel the presence of the person associated with it and a sense of being with them makes my heart glow.
Today, as I sit and write this alone from my living room, I might miss the physical presence of dear ones, but these objects or memories stand like pillars of support and talk to me like they are present in front of me.
I always believe that the soul lives just to aid us make the right decisions in life and illuminate the road like a guiding light from up above!
To all who were dear to me and have departed to a better place, your memories will serve as an essence of how you celebrated life and made people around you happy!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Emotions!
Loss!
Loss, one of the most loosely used words to describe lack of fulfillment! It con notates change in lifestyle mostly, but the deepest meaning is when it changes life itself! How can someone relate to loss of a life? Be it money or game, the loss can be recovered or made up, but how can someone replace a living?
Strength!
Being physically strong, mentally strong or even financially strong is just a mere attribute. How can the strength to deal with the loss of life ever be justified? Yet, we pray for it!
Cope!
Coping with work or school is to improve a personal trait. It's building teamwork and learning to live in society, but there is coping at home too. That’s the essence of co-existence, but when one branch breaks, how do you rebuild it?
In the past two weeks I have heard this word repeatedly and used it too! Now, that is norm dictated by society to provide the emotional support the devastated family needs!
As I sit and think back, I cannot dream of losing my mom even at age 100! Despite the tragedy life ends in, Mom is simple irreplaceable; but what justice is it for young kids to not have her presence in their lives? I see the saddened eyes of a shattered father who is trying to stand brave for his kids and the devastation in a young daughter who is unable to thread a reaction to the loss of her mom and a little son who has probably lost any memory of his mother already; but for the pictures that hang around the house! The greatest atrocity to this equation is for a mother to see her own child pass in her arms! What insanity is this? This is not the circle of life I was educated to believe in! My anger compels me to call out to the force to show this grieving family a path to regroup and patch their lives with some semblance of sanity and normalcy to withstand the absence of a daughter/ mother/ wife!
Loss, one of the most loosely used words to describe lack of fulfillment! It con notates change in lifestyle mostly, but the deepest meaning is when it changes life itself! How can someone relate to loss of a life? Be it money or game, the loss can be recovered or made up, but how can someone replace a living?
Strength!
Being physically strong, mentally strong or even financially strong is just a mere attribute. How can the strength to deal with the loss of life ever be justified? Yet, we pray for it!
Cope!
Coping with work or school is to improve a personal trait. It's building teamwork and learning to live in society, but there is coping at home too. That’s the essence of co-existence, but when one branch breaks, how do you rebuild it?
In the past two weeks I have heard this word repeatedly and used it too! Now, that is norm dictated by society to provide the emotional support the devastated family needs!
As I sit and think back, I cannot dream of losing my mom even at age 100! Despite the tragedy life ends in, Mom is simple irreplaceable; but what justice is it for young kids to not have her presence in their lives? I see the saddened eyes of a shattered father who is trying to stand brave for his kids and the devastation in a young daughter who is unable to thread a reaction to the loss of her mom and a little son who has probably lost any memory of his mother already; but for the pictures that hang around the house! The greatest atrocity to this equation is for a mother to see her own child pass in her arms! What insanity is this? This is not the circle of life I was educated to believe in! My anger compels me to call out to the force to show this grieving family a path to regroup and patch their lives with some semblance of sanity and normalcy to withstand the absence of a daughter/ mother/ wife!
Monday, February 28, 2011
Testament of time!
I am manifested by outrage, anger and helplessness! I feel much incapacitated with the situation around me. As a mother, I am challenged by the pain another mother is enduring. As a woman, I am agonized by the trauma the family is facing and as a daughter; I see the conundrum in her face.
Why is humanity so inhumane at times, I wonder? Troubled waters escape no family, but such ill effects, I am yet to see. I have begun to see everything in new light, today I learn from a mother, who is a warrior that puts Prithviraj Chauhan to shame. Her courage and strength is of paramount significance as she sees her child lying helpless waiting for the testament of time to give its verdict! She bathes her child with love and affection but her eyes carry the pain of a thousand needles. Today as I write this I wonder, why are women given so much strength? I want to be weak, I want to cry and drown my sorrow or I want to wield a Herculean wheel to retrace time. I am confused, my head tells me accept, but my heart argues! I still believe in miracles and pray for one to occur this instant.
In a world of hatred and disgust, why are good souls penalized? Or is it that, by taking away the good elements, we are left to battle with the bad and outdo each other? All these questions are unanswered as I continue my quest for the ultimate truth, but for now I understand, there really are no strings attached in this world! Truly, some wise head did say, ‘Man Proposes God Disposes’!
Why is humanity so inhumane at times, I wonder? Troubled waters escape no family, but such ill effects, I am yet to see. I have begun to see everything in new light, today I learn from a mother, who is a warrior that puts Prithviraj Chauhan to shame. Her courage and strength is of paramount significance as she sees her child lying helpless waiting for the testament of time to give its verdict! She bathes her child with love and affection but her eyes carry the pain of a thousand needles. Today as I write this I wonder, why are women given so much strength? I want to be weak, I want to cry and drown my sorrow or I want to wield a Herculean wheel to retrace time. I am confused, my head tells me accept, but my heart argues! I still believe in miracles and pray for one to occur this instant.
In a world of hatred and disgust, why are good souls penalized? Or is it that, by taking away the good elements, we are left to battle with the bad and outdo each other? All these questions are unanswered as I continue my quest for the ultimate truth, but for now I understand, there really are no strings attached in this world! Truly, some wise head did say, ‘Man Proposes God Disposes’!
Monday, February 7, 2011
Inspiration
Inspiration, such a power packed word! Entire childhood and youth went by learning to draw inspiration from famous personalities. Sometimes it was Einstein, while others, Da Vinci. Marie Currie or Newton, a constant debate! I cannot laud my science skills as anything beyond normal. I read, understand and move on. I had no visions of extraordinary theories nor did I find myself gifted for inventions.
I was amidst really smart and intelligent people who could think outside the box and it made me wonder why I lack such talent. I would gaze in awe when I read about Da Vinci being both a physicist and an artist. But with all this, I was missing something. Was it an innate need to drive myself to climb the invention rope or sit back and see the world around me and learn from it.
The glories of everyday life have hit me just it has so many others. My mind seems to be bogged down by work schedules, kid’s activity calendar and household chores. All my dreams about the Da Vinci’s of the world have ceased. But this past weekend, something stirred within. An unrest, something that I have felt a long time ago, but haven’t had the time to dwell upon!
Last year a close relative of mine was diagnosed with a dreaded disease. Just as we were celebrating a win in the combat, it ambushed us. Its ugly face has been following her like a shadow putting her whole life in turmoil. This past weekend, I had the luxury of spending a comfortable afternoon with her. I say comfortable as I saw her calm and relaxed after a week of pain and agony. It was a glorious day and the Sun was upon us like a guiding light. In that light, I saw the spirit, her spirit; one that wanted to fight and beat the odds. Having lost a friend recently after she bravely fought for her child, I was convinced she was fighting for her kids too. We got to talk, we spoke about the ways of the world and laughed about the silliest pranks our kids played. Oh, did I forget to mention, we have kids the same age. Then she said, “ I want to live. I am selfish, I want you all. I have a family a few would get and I am going to fight and beat this”. It was very spirited. I made me feel the inspiration in her and today I stand inspired. I felt a bond, something sacred we had shared. As I taught her daughter to write, I found myself smiling as something in me felt that one day, we will teach our daughters together! You are a true inspiration sweetheart! Fight and we will fight with you too!
Today I stand corrected, its not just famous personalities imparting inspiration, its people from everyday life who strive to make it in many way that guide us to make life better and share happiness. All things material, stand alone, but its the memories of everlasting love that brings a smile to your face and warmth to your heart! That my friend is true inspiration!
I was amidst really smart and intelligent people who could think outside the box and it made me wonder why I lack such talent. I would gaze in awe when I read about Da Vinci being both a physicist and an artist. But with all this, I was missing something. Was it an innate need to drive myself to climb the invention rope or sit back and see the world around me and learn from it.
The glories of everyday life have hit me just it has so many others. My mind seems to be bogged down by work schedules, kid’s activity calendar and household chores. All my dreams about the Da Vinci’s of the world have ceased. But this past weekend, something stirred within. An unrest, something that I have felt a long time ago, but haven’t had the time to dwell upon!
Last year a close relative of mine was diagnosed with a dreaded disease. Just as we were celebrating a win in the combat, it ambushed us. Its ugly face has been following her like a shadow putting her whole life in turmoil. This past weekend, I had the luxury of spending a comfortable afternoon with her. I say comfortable as I saw her calm and relaxed after a week of pain and agony. It was a glorious day and the Sun was upon us like a guiding light. In that light, I saw the spirit, her spirit; one that wanted to fight and beat the odds. Having lost a friend recently after she bravely fought for her child, I was convinced she was fighting for her kids too. We got to talk, we spoke about the ways of the world and laughed about the silliest pranks our kids played. Oh, did I forget to mention, we have kids the same age. Then she said, “ I want to live. I am selfish, I want you all. I have a family a few would get and I am going to fight and beat this”. It was very spirited. I made me feel the inspiration in her and today I stand inspired. I felt a bond, something sacred we had shared. As I taught her daughter to write, I found myself smiling as something in me felt that one day, we will teach our daughters together! You are a true inspiration sweetheart! Fight and we will fight with you too!
Today I stand corrected, its not just famous personalities imparting inspiration, its people from everyday life who strive to make it in many way that guide us to make life better and share happiness. All things material, stand alone, but its the memories of everlasting love that brings a smile to your face and warmth to your heart! That my friend is true inspiration!
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Soul searching
Death, such a morbid reality to happiness. I believe its life's way of nurturing us to be stronger and wiser adults, especially when it happens to our near and dear ones.
All our life we seek happiness, but the ultimate truth is life ends in a tragedy and no one can ever change that. My Dad spoke to me last and went to bed. 3 hours later, his only words were, ennu illa and neeru beda before he succumbed to a massive cardiac arrest on my brother's lap. I still cannot relive the moment when my brother called and informed me of his passing! I was in so much denial, it took me to see him lying lifeless before the reality hit me. Somehow that moment changed my entire course in life. I think I express myself with my family more and make them feel loved and cared for. Dad always did it and I was too ignorant about the harsh realities of life.
But for mom, Dad was a pillar of strength and his absence has made her very lonely. Even though we are all there, she can never confide in us the way she did with Dad and I think that's the element she misses the most. But Mom is a strong lady with very stable emotional structure and will deal with it, but she has become far too religious in her beliefs and I miss the modernism and political discussions I would engage in with her. Well, another lesson for me to learn I guess.
All our life we seek happiness, but the ultimate truth is life ends in a tragedy and no one can ever change that. My Dad spoke to me last and went to bed. 3 hours later, his only words were, ennu illa and neeru beda before he succumbed to a massive cardiac arrest on my brother's lap. I still cannot relive the moment when my brother called and informed me of his passing! I was in so much denial, it took me to see him lying lifeless before the reality hit me. Somehow that moment changed my entire course in life. I think I express myself with my family more and make them feel loved and cared for. Dad always did it and I was too ignorant about the harsh realities of life.
But for mom, Dad was a pillar of strength and his absence has made her very lonely. Even though we are all there, she can never confide in us the way she did with Dad and I think that's the element she misses the most. But Mom is a strong lady with very stable emotional structure and will deal with it, but she has become far too religious in her beliefs and I miss the modernism and political discussions I would engage in with her. Well, another lesson for me to learn I guess.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
