Soul searching

Death, such a morbid reality to happiness. I believe its life's way of nurturing us to be stronger and wiser adults, especially when it happens to our near and dear ones.

All our life we seek happiness, but the ultimate truth is life ends in a tragedy and no one can ever change that. My Dad spoke to me last and went to bed. 3 hours later, his only words were, ennu illa and neeru beda before he succumbed to a massive cardiac arrest on my brother's lap. I still cannot relive the moment when my brother called and informed me of his passing! I was in so much denial, it took me to see him lying lifeless before the reality hit me. Somehow that moment changed my entire course in life. I think I express myself with my family more and make them feel loved and cared for. Dad always did it and I was too ignorant about the harsh realities of life.

But for mom, Dad was a pillar of strength and his absence has made her very lonely. Even though we are all there, she can never confide in us the way she did with Dad and I think that's the element she misses the most. But Mom is a strong lady with very stable emotional structure and will deal with it, but she has become far too religious in her beliefs and I miss the modernism and political discussions I would engage in with her. Well, another lesson for me to learn I guess.