It is amazing how realization strikes when kids begin to stop and ask you to think about your actions.
We have been dealing with significant work related stress at home and I find the challenges of work – life balance has been significantly altered. Ever since kids became a part of our equation, I have sought to set my career goals limited to a 10 hour work schedule with sufficient time to dedicate to my children, but lately, I have realized that irrespective of the flexibility you seek, current economic conditions do not offer the luxury of a truly flexible schedule. Working 3 time zones and being on calls at odd hours of the day, I think lack of sleep, combined with the difficulties of raising good kids and adding housework has resulted in a distraught situation all around!
This morning, we came to realize our folly and now, as I sit working, I am divided between my duty as a mother and that of a professional tasked with a significant delivery on Mon. To add to this trauma, travel is a part of my agenda and I cannot help but feel guilty over my situation. I know I need a job to retain mental sanity, but cannot let go of my family time either. I want the best of both worlds and feel the need to enjoy both luxuries under my rules!
Is this an eternal conundrum faced by all working moms?
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Working Mom's Saga!
It is amazing how realization strikes when kids begin to stop and ask you to think about your actions.
We have been dealing with significant work related stress at home and I find the challenges of work – life balance has been significantly altered. Ever since kids became a part of our equation, I have sought to set my career goals limited to a 10 hour work schedule with sufficient time to dedicate to my children, but lately, I have realized that irrespective of the flexibility you seek, current economic conditions do not offer the luxury of a truly flexible schedule. Working 3 time zones and being on calls at odd hours of the day, I think lack of sleep, combined with the difficulties of raising good kids and adding housework has resulted in a distraught situation all around!
This morning, we came to realize our folly and now, as I sit working, I am divided between my duty as a mother and that of a professional tasked with a significant delivery on Mon. To add to this trauma, travel is a part of my agenda and I cannot help but feel guilty over my situation. I know I need a job to retain mental sanity, but cannot let go of my family time either. I want the best of both worlds and feel the need to enjoy both luxuries under my rules!
Is this an eternal conundrum faced by all working moms?
We have been dealing with significant work related stress at home and I find the challenges of work – life balance has been significantly altered. Ever since kids became a part of our equation, I have sought to set my career goals limited to a 10 hour work schedule with sufficient time to dedicate to my children, but lately, I have realized that irrespective of the flexibility you seek, current economic conditions do not offer the luxury of a truly flexible schedule. Working 3 time zones and being on calls at odd hours of the day, I think lack of sleep, combined with the difficulties of raising good kids and adding housework has resulted in a distraught situation all around!
This morning, we came to realize our folly and now, as I sit working, I am divided between my duty as a mother and that of a professional tasked with a significant delivery on Mon. To add to this trauma, travel is a part of my agenda and I cannot help but feel guilty over my situation. I know I need a job to retain mental sanity, but cannot let go of my family time either. I want the best of both worlds and feel the need to enjoy both luxuries under my rules!
Is this an eternal conundrum faced by all working moms?
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
My angel heart
There is not a moment in my life that I don’t think of her and the warmth she brings to m heart cannot be described by words! She is my daughter and my first born!
She has blossomed into a charming personality with a niche for creativity and freedom in her heart!
When she was younger, I constantly worried over her insecurity and inadequacy to deal with the harsh realities of life. The mother in me cried and cringed as she hurt deep inside, but I see all those stumbling blocks have made her stronger and braver and she is now ready to accept challenges and stand her ground!
As she progresses to evolve, I see myself slowly changing roles from a mother to a friend, a confidant she can rest her shoulders and cry on. I know the road ahead is challenging and we will have many mother-daughter moments, but for now, I just want to say, ‘I love you sweetheart and will always wish the best for you’.
She has blossomed into a charming personality with a niche for creativity and freedom in her heart!
When she was younger, I constantly worried over her insecurity and inadequacy to deal with the harsh realities of life. The mother in me cried and cringed as she hurt deep inside, but I see all those stumbling blocks have made her stronger and braver and she is now ready to accept challenges and stand her ground!
As she progresses to evolve, I see myself slowly changing roles from a mother to a friend, a confidant she can rest her shoulders and cry on. I know the road ahead is challenging and we will have many mother-daughter moments, but for now, I just want to say, ‘I love you sweetheart and will always wish the best for you’.
My angel heart
There is not a moment in my life that I don’t think of her and the warmth she brings to m heart cannot be described by words! She is my daughter and my first born!
She has blossomed into a charming personality with a niche for creativity and freedom in her heart!
When she was younger, I constantly worried over her insecurity and inadequacy to deal with the harsh realities of life. The mother in me cried and cringed as she hurt deep inside, but I see all those stumbling blocks have made her stronger and braver and she is now ready to accept challenges and stand her ground!
As she progresses to evolve, I see myself slowly changing roles from a mother to a friend, a confidant she can rest her shoulders and cry on. I know the road ahead is challenging and we will have many mother-daughter moments, but for now, I just want to say, ‘I love you sweetheart and will always wish the best for you’.
She has blossomed into a charming personality with a niche for creativity and freedom in her heart!
When she was younger, I constantly worried over her insecurity and inadequacy to deal with the harsh realities of life. The mother in me cried and cringed as she hurt deep inside, but I see all those stumbling blocks have made her stronger and braver and she is now ready to accept challenges and stand her ground!
As she progresses to evolve, I see myself slowly changing roles from a mother to a friend, a confidant she can rest her shoulders and cry on. I know the road ahead is challenging and we will have many mother-daughter moments, but for now, I just want to say, ‘I love you sweetheart and will always wish the best for you’.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Off to school she went with apprehension in her heart but confidence in her walk!
This was her new territory, all around new faces, new location with absolutely no help in sight! A worried mom, I waved goodbye with mixed emotions and walked away sending a prayer to guide her well! The next few hours seemed long and never ending, the Mom in me wanted to rush and protect her, but the woman in me gently rooted me till the expected hour. I told the mom in me to give her a chance, to help her find her confidence and make the new scene work for her!Finally at the turn of the hour, I grabbed my keys and rushed out to school, fully expecting to pull her in my arms and tell her I am there for her!
After much anticipation, I saw her walking, not with a fallen face, but grabbing the hands of 2 other girls and jumping with excitement over the fabulous new friends and the desperate call for play dates! No hugs, no tears, but pure joy bouncing off three cheery girls who had made a pact to be friends!
All my fears abated and the next few hours were filled with chatter about the new school, new premises and the endless list of darling friends she had made ending with a comment that satisfied my heart! ‘I love my new school and I feel at home!’, she said!
This was her new territory, all around new faces, new location with absolutely no help in sight! A worried mom, I waved goodbye with mixed emotions and walked away sending a prayer to guide her well! The next few hours seemed long and never ending, the Mom in me wanted to rush and protect her, but the woman in me gently rooted me till the expected hour. I told the mom in me to give her a chance, to help her find her confidence and make the new scene work for her!Finally at the turn of the hour, I grabbed my keys and rushed out to school, fully expecting to pull her in my arms and tell her I am there for her!
After much anticipation, I saw her walking, not with a fallen face, but grabbing the hands of 2 other girls and jumping with excitement over the fabulous new friends and the desperate call for play dates! No hugs, no tears, but pure joy bouncing off three cheery girls who had made a pact to be friends!
All my fears abated and the next few hours were filled with chatter about the new school, new premises and the endless list of darling friends she had made ending with a comment that satisfied my heart! ‘I love my new school and I feel at home!’, she said!
Guiding Light
Guiding light!
Today I read a comment from a mother who has lost her child on facebook. It touched me deeply! The loss of a life is the most tragic sequence in a person’s life.
Lately, I have been engrossed in rallying behind boxes to get my home in order. It seems like a herculean task to move residences and locate new areas for things to go. While in the process, I find things, objects which held little importance in the past, but now hold great memories. Memories of a bag, a picture, a letter, a note, the list is endless and with each is a unique thought and a warmth that fills my heart cause it is deeply associated with a person who’s physical presence is missed today. As I cast these objects in various spots around the house, I feel the presence of the person associated with it and a sense of being with them makes my heart glow.
Today, as I sit and write this alone from my living room, I might miss the physical presence of dear ones, but these objects or memories stand like pillars of support and talk to me like they are present in front of me.
I always believe that the soul lives just to aid us make the right decisions in life and illuminate the road like a guiding light from up above!
To all who were dear to me and have departed to a better place, your memories will serve as an essence of how you celebrated life and made people around you happy!
Today I read a comment from a mother who has lost her child on facebook. It touched me deeply! The loss of a life is the most tragic sequence in a person’s life.
Lately, I have been engrossed in rallying behind boxes to get my home in order. It seems like a herculean task to move residences and locate new areas for things to go. While in the process, I find things, objects which held little importance in the past, but now hold great memories. Memories of a bag, a picture, a letter, a note, the list is endless and with each is a unique thought and a warmth that fills my heart cause it is deeply associated with a person who’s physical presence is missed today. As I cast these objects in various spots around the house, I feel the presence of the person associated with it and a sense of being with them makes my heart glow.
Today, as I sit and write this alone from my living room, I might miss the physical presence of dear ones, but these objects or memories stand like pillars of support and talk to me like they are present in front of me.
I always believe that the soul lives just to aid us make the right decisions in life and illuminate the road like a guiding light from up above!
To all who were dear to me and have departed to a better place, your memories will serve as an essence of how you celebrated life and made people around you happy!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Emotions!
Loss!
Loss, one of the most loosely used words to describe lack of fulfillment! It con notates change in lifestyle mostly, but the deepest meaning is when it changes life itself! How can someone relate to loss of a life? Be it money or game, the loss can be recovered or made up, but how can someone replace a living?
Strength!
Being physically strong, mentally strong or even financially strong is just a mere attribute. How can the strength to deal with the loss of life ever be justified? Yet, we pray for it!
Cope!
Coping with work or school is to improve a personal trait. It's building teamwork and learning to live in society, but there is coping at home too. That’s the essence of co-existence, but when one branch breaks, how do you rebuild it?
In the past two weeks I have heard this word repeatedly and used it too! Now, that is norm dictated by society to provide the emotional support the devastated family needs!
As I sit and think back, I cannot dream of losing my mom even at age 100! Despite the tragedy life ends in, Mom is simple irreplaceable; but what justice is it for young kids to not have her presence in their lives? I see the saddened eyes of a shattered father who is trying to stand brave for his kids and the devastation in a young daughter who is unable to thread a reaction to the loss of her mom and a little son who has probably lost any memory of his mother already; but for the pictures that hang around the house! The greatest atrocity to this equation is for a mother to see her own child pass in her arms! What insanity is this? This is not the circle of life I was educated to believe in! My anger compels me to call out to the force to show this grieving family a path to regroup and patch their lives with some semblance of sanity and normalcy to withstand the absence of a daughter/ mother/ wife!
Loss, one of the most loosely used words to describe lack of fulfillment! It con notates change in lifestyle mostly, but the deepest meaning is when it changes life itself! How can someone relate to loss of a life? Be it money or game, the loss can be recovered or made up, but how can someone replace a living?
Strength!
Being physically strong, mentally strong or even financially strong is just a mere attribute. How can the strength to deal with the loss of life ever be justified? Yet, we pray for it!
Cope!
Coping with work or school is to improve a personal trait. It's building teamwork and learning to live in society, but there is coping at home too. That’s the essence of co-existence, but when one branch breaks, how do you rebuild it?
In the past two weeks I have heard this word repeatedly and used it too! Now, that is norm dictated by society to provide the emotional support the devastated family needs!
As I sit and think back, I cannot dream of losing my mom even at age 100! Despite the tragedy life ends in, Mom is simple irreplaceable; but what justice is it for young kids to not have her presence in their lives? I see the saddened eyes of a shattered father who is trying to stand brave for his kids and the devastation in a young daughter who is unable to thread a reaction to the loss of her mom and a little son who has probably lost any memory of his mother already; but for the pictures that hang around the house! The greatest atrocity to this equation is for a mother to see her own child pass in her arms! What insanity is this? This is not the circle of life I was educated to believe in! My anger compels me to call out to the force to show this grieving family a path to regroup and patch their lives with some semblance of sanity and normalcy to withstand the absence of a daughter/ mother/ wife!
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